Monday, 21 August 2017

Three (Not so very little) Pig's.

Once upon a time in a not-so-far-away land of Otara - A pretty dodgy place where the Otara Wheelies hang out and pretend to be cool. Three Lil’ Pigs named Edif, Izif, and Brenda were all over 20 years old now and still living with their mother, they couldn’t afford a landline and it was 2006. Edif was the good looking one, Izif was the Dumb one and Brenda was the Smart one. Despite how useless Edif and Izif were, their mother told them all to move out.


As they each find their own houses, all their Real Estate agents ask for too much money. So they come together one night to plan something BAD - A bank heist. They planned to rob the bank of big bags Brayden. Before entering Edif went onto the roof and threw sleeping gas into the ventilation system. Edif gave the signal to Izif but Izif ignored it. For half an hour Edif tried to give the signal to Izif. Finally Edif used his big mouth and shouted “ I’m giving the signal “  Izif shouted back “I know but it’s the wrong signal, That’s the toilet signal”.


After that was sorted out, Izif and Brenda carried on to the bank room, they passed the sleeping guards and made their way to the extra, extra large safe (almost as big as Izif’s head). They opened the very badly secured vault and found BILLIONS upon BILLIONS of dollars worth of gold. As they came out Edif asked  “How much did you get ?” then Izif and brenda looked at each other, Brenda replies “well … I got 64 Blocks” Izif added on “I got one block of gold”.


Izif and Edif saw Big Bags Brayden behind Brenda. Brayden was furious with the trio so he shot Brenda in the leg. Edif gaped it and left Izif to fight off Big bags Brayden. Brenda just watch Izif get his butt kicked. Big Bads Brayden wanted to kill them so bad he set off a self destruct bomb and tried to stop Izif from running.  But just in the nick of time, he picked up Brenda and ran away with him, and as the bomb went off in the background Izif jumped and made everything look so intense, but faced planted with Brenda at the bottom of him.


After escaping that super cool explosion, they all brought MASSIVE, modern, mansions each. One of them was a Stick house, the other was a Hay house, and the last was the A BRICK house. A year or so past, Izif just finished moving all his stuff in his house. Brenda and Edif already had their stuff in their houses because they were both MASSIVE try hard's. Then all of a sudden, Big Bags Brayden appeared out of nowhere with a bulldozer, literally, they didn’t know how he could afford that with his bank blown up. When Big bags Brayden saw their houses were TRASH, he knew he didn't need the bulldozer. So Big Bags Brayden came over to the first house, HAY. Izif was shivering inside with fear. Big Bags Brayden said " Little pig little pig let me in" Izif replied "Nah bro I was just in the middle of a umu" so by brute Fartness Big Bags Brayden farted Izif’s house down and it collapsed, all the HAY turned black. Izif was not known for designing houses OR gathering materials for one. Izif was annoyed because he just finished moving all his stuff in his house and now they are all toxic.

The same thing happened to Edif's house but instead of doing a umu he was doing a Hangi. Izif and Edif ran to Brendas house and screamed "Bro let us in" but Brenda was sleeping and Edif and Izif knew he was sleeping because he always did massive farts whilst doing so. But Brenda woke up and opended the door and slamed it shut. This was it, Big Bags Brayden knew he would win. Edif, Izif,and Brenda were all scared of Big Bags Brayden. Big Bags Brayden went to the roof and tried to climb down the chimney but started to suffocate and then fell down and DIED in the pot that Brenda was boiling. And funny enough all he needed was a wolf for his last ingredient. So Edif, Izif, and Brenda survived … And ate wolf soup sadly ever after.
THE END.

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